One important theme developed throughout the book is that even the best intentions can go wrong. After all, the whole book is about how when trying to show that he cares about his daughter by going to her wedding, he ends up missing and creating even more disappointment. Another example of this is the phrasebook that he creates for his mother. His mother had a stroke which left her unable to speak, so she scrawls what she needs to say on post-it notes. The phrasebook simply sped up the writing process. He describes the phrasebook in the quote "I tried to be as comprehensive as I could--in addition to humdrum requests for food, water, medicine and whatnot, which I arranged by category…'"(175). This quote greatly shows Bennie‘s compassion, as well as his humor. He is truly trying to help his mother and make light of a slightly unorthodox situation. Unfortunately, his mother did not see it this way. She actually took it quite personally, as seen in the quote, "Taking a ballpoint pen to one of my Post-it pads, she wrote on three consecutive sheets: I HAVE MUCH MORE TO SAY THAN THAT. I hadn't considered that it might be disturbing for her, to see the entirety of her remaining life- and what is life if not the words that we speak?-reduced to fifteen or so loose-leaf notebook pages, sharp convenience not withstanding" (175). This really develops the theme that even the best intentions can go wrong. Bennie is a good guy at heart, but a lot of the things he does are taken the wrong way. He is affected by things out of his control, and this puts a lot of stress on all of his relationships.
Another theme that this book closes with is that people are nothing without their dreams. It is shown throughout the book, but especially so when Bennie is describing his mother and father. His mother, crippled by a stroke, is unable to speak, and when he makes her a phrase book, she reacts angrily. He realizes his mistake in the quote, “What I neglected to include in my mother’s phrasebook was something like hope--not the sentences she needed, but the sentences she wanted to need,” (176). Without hope that she would one day recover, his mother would simply waste away. She needed the possibility to be there of her being able to say things discussing her recovery, dreams, her art, etc. Another example is when he talks about how his father’s dreams have completely defined him as a person, such as when he writes, “Think of Henry Gniech, believing he could outrun the nightmares of Dachau by fleeing to New Orleans,” (176). Had his father not believed that he could move on from the tragedies he experienced in the German concentration camps, Bennie would not even be alive. Henry Gniech fled Germany and completely reinvented himself as a mechanic in New Orleans. This just shows how without their dreams, people are nothing.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Dear American Airlines 5
What’s interesting about this section of the book is how inevitably hopeless he makes life seem. Its hard to tell whether or not he thinks this is a good thing. While writing, he discusses whether or not his message will get through to anyone. He talks about how insignificant his message is, and despite all his efforts, it will probably go unread. He writes, “So many letters, so many judgments, so many names instantly forgotten if indeed they ever penetrated your brain,” (121). He is pouring his heart and soul into this letter, but in all likeliness, the airline employee who reads will only give it a short glance. This unsettling image makes the reader feel insignificant to world affaires, and causes the reader to realize just how short life really is. On the other hand, Bennie also seems to spin this in a positive light. When the doctor scolds him about smoking, saying that it is killing his lungs, he simply shakes the comment off. He replies with, “It is so easy to die long before the fact of it,” (122). If life is so short, why shouldn’t he spend it doing something he enjoys? Granted, smoking is not the most glamorous thing, and it really doesn’t help you achieve anything in life, but if it makes him happy, so be it. Death is inevitable, after all.
Another thing in this reading which is interesting is the word choice. His words always show a lot about his personality, and especially so in this section of the book. In one quote he says “It’s all a bit Hemmingwayesque, but that’s hard to avoid when you’ve got a wounded soldier drinking away the afternoons by the shore,” (127). The word “Hemmingwayesque” is probably not a word you’ve heard before, since it’s not really a word. However, by referencing Hemmingway, he shows himself for the poet he really is, as well as showing his extreme creativity for creating such an unorthodox word. He uses more colorful words in the line, “Yes, I was a lout, a ne’er-do-well lush, a narcissistic chaser of vainglory,” (134). Granted, there isn’t a lot to be interpreted from the word choice, since he makes his point pretty clearly in the sentence, but you have got to admit, those are some solid words. The words, “lout”, “lush”, and “narcissistic”, are pretty decent by themselves, but the ending word “vainglory” just totally dazzles you. Honestly, I didn’t even know that word existed. Vain and glory are ok by themselves, but combined…damn. Props to you Mr. Jonathan Miles.
Another thing in this reading which is interesting is the word choice. His words always show a lot about his personality, and especially so in this section of the book. In one quote he says “It’s all a bit Hemmingwayesque, but that’s hard to avoid when you’ve got a wounded soldier drinking away the afternoons by the shore,” (127). The word “Hemmingwayesque” is probably not a word you’ve heard before, since it’s not really a word. However, by referencing Hemmingway, he shows himself for the poet he really is, as well as showing his extreme creativity for creating such an unorthodox word. He uses more colorful words in the line, “Yes, I was a lout, a ne’er-do-well lush, a narcissistic chaser of vainglory,” (134). Granted, there isn’t a lot to be interpreted from the word choice, since he makes his point pretty clearly in the sentence, but you have got to admit, those are some solid words. The words, “lout”, “lush”, and “narcissistic”, are pretty decent by themselves, but the ending word “vainglory” just totally dazzles you. Honestly, I didn’t even know that word existed. Vain and glory are ok by themselves, but combined…damn. Props to you Mr. Jonathan Miles.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Dear American Airlines 4
In this section of the book, there are many comparisons shown with the main character and narrator, Bennie, and the character in the novel he is translating, Walenty. Both of them are very damaged people, and it seems as though Bennie really feels a connection to this fictitious character, although their situations are quite different. Walenty is a Polish soldier who fought against the Nazi’s, so unlike Bernie, the majority of his troubles are not his fault. Besides losing a leg in the war, he has become deeply emotionally scarred. This is shown through the quote, “He was unprepared for the raw color of it all. For three years he had seen no color except for the beef-red of wounds and crimson splashes of blood; everything else had been painted in hard, parched shades of gray and brown and black,” (16). Having been fighting a war for so long, death and destruction has become the norm for him, and he finds a colorful and cheerful scene to be odd and unsettling. This is similar to Bennie, who was in an alcohol induced stupor for much of his life. He is only happy when he is drunk, as shown through the quote “I’m just a mordantly sober guy in an airport trying to avoid looking at his broken shoelace,” (90). The regular world has lost it wonder and excitement for Bennie, and by using the word “mordantly” the reader is led to believe that living itself is painful to him. However, Bernie has created his own problems by leaning so regularly on his alcoholic crutch. Although Walenty and Bernie are both severely damaged people, Walenty was damaged by the Nazis whereas Bernie damaged himself.
Because of the continuous comparison of Walenty and Bennie, it almost seems like their fates are tied together. Due to this illusion, when a passage is shown where Walenty is getting better, it gives the reader hope that Bernie might get better himself. Walenty is shown recovering from his wartime trauma in the quote, “Across the bay were terraced vineyards and a white castle and nearby an old man in a cotton suit was transferring the scene onto the canvas propped upon his easel. His lips were moving constantly an it appeared he was conversing with his colors,” (92). After being so desensitized to everything around him, Walenty has learned to appreciate the world. He takes pleasure in observing his surrounding, something which used to only remind him of the war. It appears that Walenty has gotten over his troubles, leading the reader to think that maybe Bennie will get over his problems as well. Although this reading does not show Bennie improving, I must still satisfy the blog requirements with another quote so, “My blackouts were never fully black, some parts gray, some parts orange and blistering,” (101). It is never stated in this particular section of the book, but because of the strong ties between Walenty and Bennie, it is safe to assume that Bennie will be getting better in due time.
Because of the continuous comparison of Walenty and Bennie, it almost seems like their fates are tied together. Due to this illusion, when a passage is shown where Walenty is getting better, it gives the reader hope that Bernie might get better himself. Walenty is shown recovering from his wartime trauma in the quote, “Across the bay were terraced vineyards and a white castle and nearby an old man in a cotton suit was transferring the scene onto the canvas propped upon his easel. His lips were moving constantly an it appeared he was conversing with his colors,” (92). After being so desensitized to everything around him, Walenty has learned to appreciate the world. He takes pleasure in observing his surrounding, something which used to only remind him of the war. It appears that Walenty has gotten over his troubles, leading the reader to think that maybe Bennie will get over his problems as well. Although this reading does not show Bennie improving, I must still satisfy the blog requirements with another quote so, “My blackouts were never fully black, some parts gray, some parts orange and blistering,” (101). It is never stated in this particular section of the book, but because of the strong ties between Walenty and Bennie, it is safe to assume that Bennie will be getting better in due time.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Dear American Airlines 3
In part four of the reading, the main character receives an invitation to his daughter’s wedding. He RSVPs by calling his daughter, and although its awkward at first, they begin to reconcile. This reading is generally quite awkward but it also has shock, amazement, and confusion coming up fairly frequently in this chapter. Their awkwardly distant relationship is shown in the quote, “Grandma=Miss Willa, another mental leap across sharp rocks. Mom=Stella. Everyone had a stock role to play but me: The part of the Bennie will be played by Bennie.” (60). He reacts naturally to her calling him Bennie, but then is confused when she calls Stella, Mom, and Miss Willa, Grandma. In most cases this would be the opposite, but alas, the life of Bennie Ford is not most cases. Things go smoothly for a while, but then become awkward again when Bennie asks his daughter if he could walk her down the aisle, to which responds, “Mom would flip” and that “We…we were planning on walking down together I guess,”(62). This comment is a real reality check for Bennie. Although his daughter does end up letting him walk her down the aisle, it really shows Bennie how nonexistent their relationship has been and how he has never been there for his daughter.
This reading, Bennie comes upon realization that he had failed at his marriage, raising his child, his poetry, and many other things, he begins to get depressed. However, upon much introspection he realizes that his life is actually now turning for the better, despite the slight setback in the airport. This is shown in the quote, "Dear American Airlines, you miserable fucks, I'm going to keep writing. I'm going to keep writing and writing and writing and writing and you're going to keep reading and reading because for the first time in my life it wasn't me that blew it--it was you."(66). He is writing the complaint letter so he can move past all of his previous failures. The new leaf which his is turning over may still contain failure, but this time, it will not be his fault. Perhaps now he will reconcile with his ex-wife and possibly develop a relationship with his daughter. Another sentence which shows his improvements is "And I hated myself because I was a shitheel father who didnt even get the joy of parenthood until six or seven months in when Speck was old enough to react to me, to reflect me--which meant Stella was right, that deep down I considered myself the sun, the center of all orbits, my mother's child after all."(75). He is admitting that he was a terrible father, and by doing so he is able to fix his issues and grow as a person. Perhaps it is good that his wife left him, because otherwise he may have never realized what was wrong with his life and continued to be a drunken failure. Now, late in life, he has finally made the necessary changes to be a truly good person.
This reading, Bennie comes upon realization that he had failed at his marriage, raising his child, his poetry, and many other things, he begins to get depressed. However, upon much introspection he realizes that his life is actually now turning for the better, despite the slight setback in the airport. This is shown in the quote, "Dear American Airlines, you miserable fucks, I'm going to keep writing. I'm going to keep writing and writing and writing and writing and you're going to keep reading and reading because for the first time in my life it wasn't me that blew it--it was you."(66). He is writing the complaint letter so he can move past all of his previous failures. The new leaf which his is turning over may still contain failure, but this time, it will not be his fault. Perhaps now he will reconcile with his ex-wife and possibly develop a relationship with his daughter. Another sentence which shows his improvements is "And I hated myself because I was a shitheel father who didnt even get the joy of parenthood until six or seven months in when Speck was old enough to react to me, to reflect me--which meant Stella was right, that deep down I considered myself the sun, the center of all orbits, my mother's child after all."(75). He is admitting that he was a terrible father, and by doing so he is able to fix his issues and grow as a person. Perhaps it is good that his wife left him, because otherwise he may have never realized what was wrong with his life and continued to be a drunken failure. Now, late in life, he has finally made the necessary changes to be a truly good person.
Dear American Airlines 2
As the book progresses, the reader is given some insight as to why the main character/narrator/author is so cynical. The time he has spent in the airport gets upwards of 8 hours, and he starts to share his family life with Delta Airlines. He an illegitimate child with a woman he didn't really love and it began to dominate his life. During the pregnancy, he describes his feelings by saying, "Often I was aimlessly angry and sometimes I was thrilled but mostly I was terrified," (33). Though the idea of having a child is often romanticized, the anger and terror he felt is completely justified. He is an aspiring poet who is being robbed of some of the best years of his life just because of a stupid accident. Although it was pretty much all his fault, the reader can still sympathize with him. The situation later becomes even worse when his relationship with his girlfriend falls to pieces. Unable to stand his drunkenness, Stella flips out, taking away the baby, and telling him to move out. The whole ordeal is pretty much summed up when she yells, "Look at her. She's screaming. Do you see what you're doing to her? Get away from us Bennie. Get away. I swear to Christ I'll kill you--"(48). After being forced to accept a child he didn't want, it becomes even worse when, after learning to love the child, his girlfriend takes the child and kicks him out. He feels betrayed by anybody, and now has no own to look after him. Being deserted by the world can certainly leave one feeling cynical.
Later in the reading, some light is shed on all the problems that drinking has caused for the main character. Despite being sober for 5 years, he still yearns for a drink, and he describes his love of alcohol when he says, "The worst part of sobriety is the silence. The lonesome, pressurized silence. Like the way sound falls away when you're choking. Even when I drank alone, the vodka provided me with a kind of soundtrack--a rhythm, channeled voices, a brain crowded with noise and streaming color, the rackety blurred clutter of my decrepitude."(53). Alcohol was his crutch, so much so that without it he feels a silence. A silence is pretty much an emptiness, and an emptiness signifies something extremely important missing in someone's life. His drinking caused so much trouble that even years later, his old girlfriend whom he impregnated still wont talk to him. When he called during his rehab to apologize she simply said, "Thanks, but no thanks."(52). Damn...thats cold. Even the person who used to love him more than anybody won't accept his apology. Perhaps that is why the main character is so cynical to this day. Blah blah concluding sentence blah.
Later in the reading, some light is shed on all the problems that drinking has caused for the main character. Despite being sober for 5 years, he still yearns for a drink, and he describes his love of alcohol when he says, "The worst part of sobriety is the silence. The lonesome, pressurized silence. Like the way sound falls away when you're choking. Even when I drank alone, the vodka provided me with a kind of soundtrack--a rhythm, channeled voices, a brain crowded with noise and streaming color, the rackety blurred clutter of my decrepitude."(53). Alcohol was his crutch, so much so that without it he feels a silence. A silence is pretty much an emptiness, and an emptiness signifies something extremely important missing in someone's life. His drinking caused so much trouble that even years later, his old girlfriend whom he impregnated still wont talk to him. When he called during his rehab to apologize she simply said, "Thanks, but no thanks."(52). Damn...thats cold. Even the person who used to love him more than anybody won't accept his apology. Perhaps that is why the main character is so cynical to this day. Blah blah concluding sentence blah.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)